I miss you. The guy that i always look forward to talk to, the guy that I love so much, the guy that I cant find myself giving up on no matter how hard or how long i take.
How are you, I wonder? I have no guts to message you at all. I have no guts to ask you out, i totally have no guts. Neither did you contact me after that day, isit means that it's over for us? I dont know, but i really wanna know. Will you still be interested to keep in contact with me?
Well, i doubt so. I'm so annoying as a person, as a friend. We wouldn't even contact normally. We won't even meet. We wont even do what normal friends will do. I know, you're different, and I shouldn't stereotype you with other people. I know you may be tired of all the nonsense that I've been throwing at you and I'm really sorry for every single thing that I've done that turned you off.
Maybe, I should let go and give up, once and for all....
Hurting but I'll stay strong...
A post after 1.5 years. That's just how lazy I am to update my blog.
Things are really going on fine for me, and i'm glad that i'm aint the coward anymore, at least i'm courageous to speak out my feelings, instead of hiding them. Hmm, though i didnt got the answer i wanted, but at least I know how you felt. I know all the trashing sessions went out well for me, because I felt better every single time i told you how i felt, but i also know that you may felt horrible because you did not know how to handle them. Sometimes, i just dont know why i will be so crazy, but sometimes i'm really thankful for it - I really learnt many things throughout the process.
Thank you for tolerating my nonsense from the start, especially with all those annoying and clingy messages. Like what I've said, I couldn't even tolerate myself when I read all those message I sent you, but you managed to. Thank you for creating memories for me, and you tho' it may be such a short one. Thank you for whipping up a meal for me, it was the best I ever ate, no joke. & Thank you for not giving up on our friendship, though you may do so, anytime.
I really hope we can go onto the next step one day, even tho' I knew the answer would be highly impossible. Right now, all I just hope is that our friendship will not be affected, and we still can be good friends. I hope we still can go out without obligations or worrying what will happen. I hope we will not lose every single thing just because of my rash decision, tho' I will choose to do this if I were to choose again.
I miss you, I really do. But I'm afraid that if i were to message you once more, our friendship will be over and you'll hate me. I want to ask you out, but I'm afraid of the outcome that may come.
I dont know. I'm tired, but I'll choose to love you. No regrets and never will.
If you don't love me back, it's okay I understand and i'll not blame you for it. I just hope that you'll receive happiness no matter what decision you make. I'll always support you and be there for you.
Take care.
